So I know that I have been out of the loop for a while, but here I am with another edition of funny stories from my past. We'll stick to just one today...and make it a good one.
Let's back up to June 2004. I was 19 and went on Birthright. For those of you not in the know, Birthright is basically a free trip to Israel for young Jews. I strongly recommend going with at least one friend by the way. However, I went myself. Overall, the trip was great. Israel was simply amazing. The people kind of sucked though. They were mostly older than me and I was not yet the social creature that I am today... Plus, most of them knew each other at least somewhat. Well, that's neither here nor there. The 10 days went by pretty quickly...and the nights were all pretty alcohol-filled.
On the last night, we decided to go out to a club. I was 19 at the time. I had barely even been to bars at that point. Having very little money, I decided not to drink anything. That idea quickly flew out the window when people started buying me drinks...strong drinks. About 2 hours in, I was super trashed. And somehow or other (possibly displaying my future self), I had made friends with a random table full of "older" women. They were 26. I have plenty of good friends who are about 26. And 26 is not at all old. But at the time, they seemed ridiculously old to me. Well, what do you think happened? They continued to buy me drinks. At one point, one of them proposed to me. And I accepted. If it wasn't for what happened next, I bet I'd be married right now. And she was hot too.
Meanwhile, the club decided to have a dance off. And the guy came around recruiting. And my bride-to-be decided that I needed to prove myself by winning the dance off. I'm pretty sure the nice bottle of wine offered as a prize was also a temptation for her. So there I was waiting on stage for my turn. The guy I was competing against was good. And I was nowhere near the dancer or shameless show-off I am today. Plus I was ridiculously drunk. That's when it got weird. The host told me that my one chance to beat the guy was to strip. If I did that, there would be no way I wouldn't win. All I could think about was winning...and the wine...and my bride-to-be...and did I mention that I was trashed? When my turn came, I started dancing. And it wasn't happening. So what did I do? I started stripping of course... Before long (due to my lack of stripping experience), I was buck naked on stage. The crowd was loving it. All of my group had their cameras out. The woman who wanted to marry me was psyched. Everything was about to come together for me. And then they announced the winner. I had lost the dance-off. I had lost the bottle of wine. I had lost the 26 year old Israeli chick.
But on the plus side, I was naked on stage and lost my shame and gained a damn good story out of it...so whatever. Plus, I bet the Israeli chick is fat now.
Don't ask me why.
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so glad you are posting again
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